Introducing. . . . THE BAG!

The final piece of the puzzle is in place.  Most of you have known the ‘one man’ for sometime, so it’s only right to now introduce the missing ingredient in the onemanandhisbag story – THE BAG!

And here he is in all his glory!

Borne from the loins of Karrimor he is capable of fitting 60 litres of schtuff within his innards.  His straps, that will be hugging me around the World, are adjustable and therefore able to give precise hugging when required, very important.  There is also a stunt double bag into which the main character will disappear whilst in transit on dem big planes and t’ing.  Apparently ‘the man’ doesn’t like straps and stuff flapping around in the hold.

So, that’s it, I’m set.  Pretty much.  Well, you know, I’ve got most of the pieces in place.  The main list on the wall for travel related stuff has one remaining thing to complete and that’s the purchase of a new camera (generously funded by Family Woollacott as a double Christmas/Birthday present – beautiful, thank you thank you!)

The first few nights accommodation are booked in Thailand at the rather nice looking Loft Inn (www.bangkokloftinn.com).  I figured, for the first couple of nights whilst my tummy churns and my brain comes to terms with what my heart has done, somewhere fairly nice to stay would be preferable.  Also, with it being Thailand, the ‘nice place’ to stay comes in on budget.  The budget being around £40 a day for everything!  Doesn’t sound a lot but in context of the time I’ll be away that’s over £10,000 – EEK!  I guess the budget will be one of the most challenging things to keep on top of.

After the first four nights it’s anyones guess as to what’s going to happen!  I’ve spotted some info on an elephant sanctuary that looks well worth a visit, and also some awesome waterfalls outside of Bangkok.  I might venture over the border into Cambodia or I may try and get to some coastal area, perhaps Phuket.  I have been fully warned and educated in the most dangerous pitfall of Bangkok, that being the mistake-ification of a man for a lady (or how it was put to me more recently – a she-man!!!)  According to my friend Deb Howse, these she-men really are quite beautiful and she struggled to spot the difference.  Well, I have come up with the perfect plan to foil their dastardly ways – no kissing/hugging/holding hands with anyone in Thailand who resembles either a man or a woman.  Simples.  Mind you, those elephants had better pucker up!! 😉

This could possibly be the last bloggings on British soil.  My train ticket is booked for Monday at 16.12 to take me to St. Pancras and then on to Heathrow via the tube – start as you mean to go on!  With this in mind there is a public announcement to follow.  Word is spreading fast about the onemanandhisbag story, and already there are cheap immitations available – do not accept anything but the real deal!  In particular watch out for this chap ——>

http://www.onetazandhisbag.com is an imposter and must be stopped (the devil)!!!!

Route-e-toot-toot!

I booked my ticket today and so decided such a momentous and, clearly pivotal moment in the onemanandhisbag tale deserved some blog action!  Some of you may be of the opinion that the following map detailing my route is the product of a man with way too much time on his hands.  To a certain extent you would be correct (took me AGES to do the cork hat!), although with a departure date of Monday 6th December now set, the currency of my time in the UK has shot up in value!

Regarde le route du monde ———>  (hot blog tip – click the image for bigger pic! kapow!)

My RTW route!

The fact that this route has any amount of coherency to it at all is largely down to the guidance of David Woodward at STA Travel in Leicester (no less than 3 hours of it!!).  There comes a point in every man’s life when, despite making every effort to avoid anything resembling a plan, you just have to have a plan.  I comforted my plan-averse inner self with the thought that if it’s good enough for Hannibal Smith then it’s good enough for me, and I will LOVE it if it comes together.  FOOL!

But that’s it!  The planning starts and ends here with the booking of the ticket.  That’s the deal, no socks and no plans.

My other experience today was less than pleasurable, and that was my vaccinations.  I was suitably chastised by Nurse Needleface for ‘leaving it until the last minute’.  If it wasn’t for Jenny Allen asking if I’d had them yet, the thought of vaccines would never have crossed my mind, shocking eh?  That and the constant gentle reminders from Amanda Cooke to book my appointment!  So, I was too late for a course of malaria vaccines and will now have to take tablets on arrival in Costa Rica in preparation for the rest of Central America, although the area is generally low risk so it’s just a precaution.  However, Nurse Needleface was able and willing to inject me with small amounts of Hep A, Typhoid, Tetanus, Diphtheria and Polio which have been merrily working their way through my system making both arms feel like they’ve been hit by a David Haye trademark ‘haye-maker’ in the process!  Not the best feeling in the World, but no doubt preferable over a much larger dose of any of the previously mentioned diseases.

So, without question, the next week will be one of the most frantic of my life.  My lists are on the wall and will, fingers crossed, dwindle fast.  Anybody interested in a nice Mk1 Golf GTI cabriolet. . . . . . . . . ?

Gords.

P.S While you’re here, a few people have asked me to email them with updates now that this t’ing is genuinely happening.  If you look up to the right there’s a box that says Subscribe.  Enter your email address in the box, click subscribe and you will be sent an email to confirm your subscription.  Click the link on the email and boom boom POW, you’ll get an email every time I blog. (Which will probably be about once a day for the first week and then once a month thereafter!!)

London Nights

Just for kicks I thought I’d give the blog a bit of a test drive after my night out down in that there London.

Took the train from MH after watching the mighty Spurs turn round a 2-0 halftime scoreline in the gooners backyard to run out 3-2 winners! It’s taken 17 years and could NOT have come at a better time or in a better fashion.

I got chatting to a chap on the train who was travelling down from Leeds uni for a night out in the schmoke with friends. It turned out he supports Man U but it was too late, we were already conversing so I just had to roll with it! Surprisingly, I’ve been to Old Trafford more times than he has. Sarcasm overload, I guess he’s just your typical Man U fan. He bored me for a while showing me his new Samsung phone which looks exactly like my iPhone but runs a . . . . . . infact I’m boring myself recollecting it, move on.

Arrived at St Pancras and was greeted with many glum looking gooners, haha! Proper made my day! It’s normally me looking like that after a North London Derby. In a bizarre way I think they probably feel worse, I’m used to it they’re not!

Negotiated my way through the Underground over to Victoria. I love London, I love the atmosphere and the smells you get down on the tube. It’s almost a mechanical smell if that’s possible mixed with warm air. It all reminds me a lot to of my little Gran who used to live in Fulham (not that she smelt mechanical mixed with warm air). I had some brilliant times in London with my family, back in the day!

So, couple of drinks in the Sports bar at Victoria station with Nigel before heading off to meet up with some friends over in Camden Town what, what. It worked out well thanks to facebook check-in! A couple of friends spotted I was on my way to the schmoke and invited me and Nigel along with them. Bloody good job too, as my hostess with the mostess bailed on us at about 11.30! I lost the guys I was with for quite a while at one point, although I did discover that “I’ve lost my friends” is a great ice breaker!!
Ok, here’s the first good thing to come out of this practice post. I really MUST take note of the places I go to! The first pub was The Black Heart but I can’t remember the name of the club! Anyway, it was brilliant and quite probably the busiest dance floor I’ve ever been on. In fact, it seemed as if the whole place was just one big dance floor. Haha, I like that. How cool would it be if the world was just one big dance floor? I’m damn sure going for a dance around it whatever it is!

The Club kicked us out at 3am, which was then followed by a brief dalliance with a couple of the lads and an establishment professing to offer a ‘sauna and massage’ at 3am! I say brief dalliance as the entrance fee was £15 then another £60 for a 30 minute ‘sauna and massage’ so needless to say they returned pretty sharply and joined me by spending their sauna money on a footlong with chips instead! A no doubt entirely more satisfying outcome under the circumstance if you ask me.

And so, 4am, Chelsea supporting minicab man from West Africa dropped me off in the vicinity of Nigels apartment. He didn’t know the address so I just got out at Victoria station and in a drunken wobbly giggly style successfully stumbled through the reception area feeling pleased that I’d found my way back. All good pioneering skill practice!

Luckily Nigel heard me knocking and let me in to a brief torrent of abuse for abandoning me.

Brushed teeth. Pint of water. Quick pee. Bed.

Me, Nigel, Kev and Neil doing ‘Queen’ (kinda!)